Unaware
by newportz-princess
Summary: Marissa finds something out that she didn't expect. She struggles to come to terms with it and when she finds out something that changes her whole outlook on the situation, will it be to late? Marissa and Volchok to begin with but Ryan will appear soon.
1. Better Than Me

**Disclaimer: The O.C. isn't my creation. **_**This**_** is…how sad am I. **

**Just something I came up with, it sucks, lets be honest here. But I tried! LOL. My grandma is being dropped off at the hospital as you read, to get ready for her breast cancer operation. I don't know much because my Mom and grandad are being so stubborn and agro. Meh. Enjoy and REVIEW!**

Marissa Cooper was angry, absolutely, furious. She was definitely at odds with the universe, as Seth would say. But what hit her more than frustration was fright. God only knows what her mother was going to say, Volchok would leave her, Ryan had somebody else to save and after that she really had no one else. Summer and her were still fighting and Seth just did what Summer told him to do, so he wouldn't be much help. The Cohen's mean well but it would be way to weird to stroll up to the front door and say…

**Marissa's Point Of View – Earlier that day.**

For a few days now I have been weak and just so not in the mood for anything. I am usually quite a big eater but I have just completely lost my appetite. Which Volchok doesn't mind, seeing as how he probably doesn't have enough money to feed me any way. I really don't know what's wrong, oh crap I'm late, I'm meant to be having a 'study group' with some girls from school.

"What are you looking for?" Volchok asks me like I'm some sort of weirdo for wanting to leave his heinous apartment, which is really just an abandoned garage or warehouse, I really have no clue.

"My keys, do you know where they are?" I ask him, I really can't be bothered doing this. It feels as though my head is spinning, I guess I should go to the doctors or something, I presume I'm coming down with the flu.

"Right here, Senorita" Volchok replies in that voice that clearly means 'I wanna have sex with you' it is making my stomach sick, or maybe that's just the smoothie I drank before.

"Thanks, give them here" I ask him, my patience thinning. I swallow hard when he makes a beeline for me; his eyes placed on my chest.

"Kevin, stop being a jerk and give me my car keys" I demand, I have hardly any energy and he seems to think 'he's done his job' so of course he's laughing at me and touching me, it's making me feel uncomfortable, even though I have let him do worse.

"Lighten up" He moans, sort of angrily. He scares me sometimes, especially when he's high. I never know what he's doing when him and his friends go on trips and stuff. I went once, but just escaped from being raped. So naturally I never went again.

"Kevin, stop your hurting me. STOP" I scream when Volchok touches my breasts. It hurts so much and I have no clue what is going on with me. He presses his lips together viciously and walks over to his mini fridge. He gets a beer out of it and stands there looking at me like I just stole his stash.

"What the fuck was that?" Volchok asks me quietly, but I can tell he's raging inside. I just denied him sex; I remember what happened last time I did this. He yelled and threw stuff around, I sat on the floor in a heap crying. I never should have moved in with him. He wonders why I started going back to school, it's because it's away from him. I only started cutting school because it was the only time I could be with him, he was my escape. Ryan used to be mine but then we broke up, all because of Johnny.

"I don't know. I need to go out so can you please hand me my keys" I ask him, the tears have automatically started falling, it's like my body has programmed them to every time Volchok gets angry.

He stands there contemplating this, almost like he's my father and he's deciding whether or not to let me go out alone with a new boyfriend.

"Whatever Marissa" Volchok snarls at me. He really excels at hurting my feelings. Kevin drops my car keys on the ground; the rattling of the metal to the concrete vibrates in my ears. I bet that scumbag put something in my drink, he refuses to look at me, which I have no problem with but it's just scary. I really don't know what will happen when I get back home. Home. How disgraceful is it that I now call this home. I have often thought about running away and going back home, my actual home where my Mom and Neil and Kaitlin are, Kaitlin is probably enjoying this; her perfect, all-round big sister no longer has a squeaky clean reputation every one thought. So obviously she took my moment of weakness to make hers shine.

"Have a good day" I manage to say, even though inside I wish that he'd get caught and go to jail or die or something. When he doesn't respond to me I take a huge calming breath and strut out of his 'apartment' like I have the world in my hands. When I am out in public I fake a brave face, I brush people off when they genuinely want to help and I try to make it seem as if I am happy and having fun with Volchok. Because I know the second I say I'm not okay with Volchok and I's life together, I will have hell to pay by him. He controls me and I have no power over my life and myself.

When I arrive at the diner to meet those girls from my study group I see that one of them is Lydia. Ryan's new girl. She has brunette colored hair, not all different to Summer's. Lydia is shorter than me, and is a new transfer this year from New York. I envy her for being able to keep a relationship for longer with Ryan. It was always my fault we broke up; if only I had taken a step back from Johnny…and Oliver and saw how they were affecting Ryan and I's relationship and myself, maybe we could have made it work.

"Hey Marissa, what took you so long?" Tiffany asked me. She is so preppy it isn't funny; just think of a person that is half Taylor Townsend and half Paris Hilton. That just about sums it up.

"I got held up, sorry" I reply, I can smell the coffee brewing and the teens chattering, is it just me or has the diner just heated up like a thousand degrees.

"Are you okay?" Another girl called Nicole in my study group asked me. I don't reply, I can't reply. My face is burning up and my stomach is rumbling, not from hungriness but sickness. I can feel eyes on me, judging me, mocking me, but I disconnect myself from the humans around me and faint. My head hits the shiny floor of the diner and my limbs feel free.

**TBC**

**I have the next chapter ready to go, but I want to see people's reactions and well, REVIEWS! w00ting for reviews! Okay, Marissa is with Volchok at the moment but Ryan should come in pretty soon.**


	2. Open Arms

**Disclaimer: The OC isn't mine; now please process that so I don't have to write it every time! LOL.**

**Hope you enjoy the new chapter. Thanks to every one who reviewed, they mean more than you think!**

"Oh my god" Karen, another girl in the group yells. People gather around me like I'm Britney Spears. But I'm not I'm Marissa Cooper.

"She like fainted or died, something like that" Tiffany exclaimed noisily, anyone would think it was her lying helplessly on the ground. I'm starting to recoup but my stomach won't stop let me get up, I think I'm going to vomit.

Gentle hands are stroking my cheek, the touch is unfamiliar, Ryan always did this to me so maybe it's him. It can't be, he wasn't even in the diner. The fingers that are softly touching me are feminine and slim. I open my eyes to see half the people that sat in the booths earlier surrounding me. I slowly look to me left and see Lydia giving me a warm smile. A sign of peace and sympathy. I steadily arise off the floor and sigh. Most of the people sit back in their booths and continue what ever they were doing. Tiffany, Karen, Nicole and Kelly; the other girl whose in the study group went off to the counter to get me a glass of water. Lydia helped me back in my seat and scooted in next to me.

"Are you okay, you can tell me if something's going on. I won't tell Ryan or anyone else. I promise" Lydia asks me tenderly. She sounds genuine, something I'm not used to.

"I don't know, I just feel really sick, it's probably just the flu." I say with my head looking down. I spend the next few minutes telling her my symptoms and she gasps, here eyes widened. Damn, Lydia knew my condition or whatever before me! The girl really does have every thing.

"What? What is it? Is it bad?" I ask Lydia, I really start to worry about myself, because she got straight A's in human biology and she's applying for medical school.

"Marissa, have you ever thought that you might actually be pregnant?" Lydia says to me with a concerned look on her face. When she utters the word 'pregnant' my heart drops and my lungs like don't work. My breathing starts to rapidly speed up and my tummy feels as though it's boiling.

"Uh…Er, um" Is all I can manage to bring myself to speak.

"Look, why don't I take you to a pharmacist so you can buy a test. My Mom is a nurse, so if you want you can meet her, you know an adults support from someone other than your family" Lydia offers. I never realized how nice she really is. She gets it; maybe she's been through this before.

"Thank you, Lydia. That'd be great." I quietly say. She helps me up, I don't know why because I'm not paralyzed but I hate to admit it feels pleasant to have someone care about me and it not be any deeper and demanding.

"Tiffany, were going for a walk so I'll call you to reschedule" Lydia says to the group. I pull away from Lydia and make a dash for the bathroom, this time the smoothie came all the way up. I sit in the stall weeping. I really must be pregnant.

"This wasn't meant to happen to me. Not with Volchok, it's meant to be Ryan's, not Volchok's. It's entirely his fault. I wasn't supposed to get pregnant this young" I complain through my sobs, which Lydia listened to. She didn't get angry when I ranted about wanting the baby to be Ryan's. She just listened like a friend. I've really taken for granted Summer's friendship over the years, I never realized how much I need a friend.

"It's okay, I'm here for you" Lydia says, she sits down so that we are face to face. She lightly reels me in for a hug; Lydia didn't even stick her nose up at the strong smell of vomit. If it was me I'd be barfing by now, but she had such grace and dignity - something I used to have, another of the many things I envied about her.

"I really appreciate you doing this for me, considering every thing" I whisper with my eyes closed; letting the tears fall easier.

Lydia nods and stands up, she holds out her right hand, motioning for me to grab hold of it. She gets me off the ground and guides me to my car. We drive to the chemist and she goes in for me. Kirsten Cohen was in side. At first I thought it'd be better for me to go in, just so that Kirsten doesn't have a heart attack when she sees what Lydia is buying, but then Lydia told me that the Cohen's don't know about her yet and Kirsten won't recognize her. Boy was that a relief.

Lydia soon returns and produces the little carton from the plastic bag the chemist gave her. I sigh and take hold of it.

"Would you like to meet my Mom or go home?" Lydia asks. She clearly didn't know about my living situation with 'the surf Nazi' as Summer would say. Ryan hadn't aired my dirty laundry and that in itself made me smile.

"Your Mom sounds good." I say giving Lydia a small smile.

"Just be warned, she's a little embarrassing. Even Ryan said so!" Lydia says laughing. The fact that Ryan was an active visitor at Lydia's home made me a sad; he was never welcome at my house.

We arrive at Lydia's house not long later. It's amazing; it even gives the Cohen's McMansion a run for its money. We make our way inside and I meet her Mom. Lydia was right, she's a bit eccentric but not as bad as say…Taylor. After a long informative chat and cookies, which I am now regretting, I took the test. In my ex boyfriends new girlfriends house. Weird? Beyond it.

I emerge from Lydia's bathroom with so many tears running down my face that I never thought was humanly possible. Lydia looks up from the coffee pot she was holding and saw me.

"I'm so sorry" Lydia says. She doesn't need words; that's probably why she's with Ryan. She knows all this, all to well. Her Mom is a nurse but she seems to know the personal side to things as well. I shake my thoughts off and wipe my cheeks where the tearstains are.

"I'll take you home, so you can see your Mom or your Dad, I don't know who you live with, but I'm here. You could even stay the night if you have nowhere to go. I know we have a history but we can put all that behind us" Lydia comforts me, even gives me a marsh mellow. Don't ask.

"Why are you being so nice?" I ask curiously. There had to be a reason, maybe she put rat poison in my marsh mellow. I discretely check and can't see any signs of poison. She really is too good to be true. I would never do this if I were in her situation. She sighs and looks down, I'm starting to regret asking but I'm still curious as anything to know.

"Well, I've been in your situation before. Not too long ago actually" Lydia says. I'm taken aback; I didn't think it would be with Ryan.

"Ryan and you…?" I start asking. She chuckles and I have no clue why.

"No, the guy I was with before Ryan. That's how Ryan and I met, I guess he wanted to save me or something to do with the male pride thing he has going on" Lydia says with a grin, that's my Ryan she's talking about. I used to be the one he saved, he has totally replaced me, but I can't bring myself to hate him or Lydia for that matter.

"I sure know about that. Ryan definitely has the hero complex thing sussed out" I laugh, I haven't laughed in a long time. I think she gets that vibe and smiles while nodding her head.

"So do you want a ride or do you want to be ultra awkward and stay the night" Lydia jokes, I know that she is but it makes too much sense. It is way to awkward and what happens if Ryan turns up?

"I'll walk home, but thanks for the offer" I say, I didn't want her to see where I was living and I certainly didn't want Volchok to come out and see her with me.

"No I insist, it's getting pretty late and you never know whose out there" Lydia insists. I can sense the sincerity in her tone and I can't say no.

"Just a sec, I'll grab my stuff from your bathroom" I give in; I can't help it.

Once we were on the road I directed her to Neil's house. I made her drop me off at the foot of the driveway so no one inside the house would see me. It was going to be a long walk to Volchok's; I can't wait for his reaction to the whole 'I'm pregnant' thing. Wow that was actual sarcasm, I didn't know I had it in me. I guess those years of hanging out with Seth finally paid off. He had to be good for something.

Once Lydia is out of sight I start my walk or hike would be a more fitting term for it. I spot an old convenience store on the other side of the road so I cross and take a look inside it.

I pick up a chocolate bar and a diet Coke. As I am making my way to the counter I see out of the corner of my eye the liquor section. I sigh and stand there staring at the bottle of 'Pure Vodka' the brand I had purchased so many times with my fake I.D. I take a breath and remember the fact that I was carrying Kevin Volchok's baby. Normally any pregnant woman in her right mind would walk straight past this section of the store but the words 'Kevin Volchok' and 'Pregnant' made this certain area of the shop extremely appealing to me. Pregnant? Pfft, not for long.

**TBC**

**REVIEW! I love them. Please if you have an opinion; tell me in your review. I have an idea for this story but I'd really appreciate some of your opinions! **


	3. A Bad Dream

**Disclaimer: The O.C. belongs to Josh and FOX. I own the plot – Yay!**

**Okay, so thanks so much for everyone's reviews. This chapter is shorter than the others but oh well. The stuff in italics is Marissa's cell phone's answering machine thing. Enjoy. **

I get out my fake I.D. and act confident, something that one of Volchok's friend's girlfriends told me. The guy serving me obviously has no life and doesn't bother to check it. I congratulate myself with a smile and take off down towards an abandoned beach, far away from the pier or where someone could find me. I find a spot on the sand and take a seat. The weeds that are growing through the wet sand are tickling my feet.

"New message" My phone announces in an automated voice. I should have never allowed Seth to choose it. I hastily pick up my phone and read the message that's on the small screen.

'_Marissa, honey. Please come home. Don't waste your life away just because you're mad at me. We have all made mistakes and I am willing to forgive yours' _My Mom's message said. I chuckle angrily and snap my cell phone shut. I throw it into the ocean and unscrew the bottle top of the vodka I recently bought.

"Pregnant" … "What the fuck was that?" … "Even Ryan agrees" … "Please come home" … "Are you okay?" … "Have you ever thought that you might actually be pregnant" … "I'm so sorry" …

All those voices are giving me a headache; I can't be pregnant, NO! It's all a bad dream! I'm waiting to wake up in my Dad's arms like it was when I was young. I want to be six again, back when Dad and Mom were together and happy. I want to come home after school and tell my dad all about my day. Show off my new dresses after a shopping trip with my Mom and feel what it's like to be 'Daddy's little girl' again. NO! IT'S ALL A FUCKING BAD DREAM! NO! I CAN'T BE PREGNANT, NOT TO VOLCHOK!

"WHY, WHY ME?!" I scream at the top of my lungs. "Why me…I never asked for this, I don't want this!" I cry so hard that my breathing stops for a second. The sky isn't answering me back and the world is silent. I swig the vodka angrily and remember how good this felt when I was sixteen. This was my original escape, before Ryan, before Oliver, before Johnny, before Volchok…Hm, Volchok this one's for you. I think as I chug the bottle until it was near empty. I hold my stomach and think of the small 'thing' that is or probably was growing in there. My sobs get louder and louder as I recall an episode of 'The Valley' that Summer had made me watch. April was pregnant with her boyfriend's dad's baby and killed it all with a few simple methods. I rack my hazed brain for what she did, but the alcohol is overtaking my thoughts and my awareness of the world around me. I lay back and can't get comfortable. I roll over and vomit splurges out of my mouth. I don't bother to wipe it. I roll again, why didn't they make it so that wet sand is comfy? Probably because normal people don't sleep on the beach, I'm not normal though; I'm a pregnant whore with nothing to live for. My grip on the bottle loosens and the remaining contents spills out. I still can't get comfortable so I lay straight, my eyes flutter open and closed. For a moment I see a shooting star, but my thoughts are so over the place I don't make a wish. Whatever, wishes don't come true anyway. My tummy stirs and I don't have the energy to take action.

**Not Marissa's Point Of View – Later on that night.**

"Hey Ryan have you seen Marissa lately? She was coming to school and all that but today I didn't see her at all" Summer asked of Ryan, who was sitting in the pool house playing Play Station with Seth.

"No, she's probably just at Volchok's place or something, I thought you two weren't speaking" Ryan replied to Summer while keeping his eyes on the TV screen.

"We aren't but I'm starting to get really worried about her. She's been MIA for a few days now" Summer said playing with the ends of her hair anxiously.

"Please, you haven't seen her for like one day. Yesterday you were all like 'I never want to see that skank again' and now you're acting like she's been kidnapped or something" Seth butted in. Summer rolled her eyes and continued talking to Ryan.

"No but, she wasn't at school today and she's been coming religiously for a while now. Who knows what that jerk does to her, did you see the bruises on her cheek. I bet he slapped her. That's probably why she comes to school all of a sudden, to get away from him." Summer reeled in thought. Seth wasn't taking her worries seriously and Ryan hadn't cared about Marissa for a couple of months now, not since he had met Lydia.

"Or maybe, she comes to school because it's no to far away from Graduation and she wants to make a good final impression" Seth suggested, but Summer still felt off. Something wasn't right.

"Neil, Marissa hasn't popped in or anything has she?" Julie franticly asked her fiancé.

"Not that I know of, why do you ask?" Neil answered. Julie bit her lip and closed her eyes.

"She hasn't replied to any of the text messages I sent her, she didn't attend school today and according to one of Volchok's friends that I tracked down Volchok hasn't seen her either" Julie wept. Neil made his way over to Julie and held her.

"Call it mother's intuition but I think she may be in some trouble" Julie stated looking at her cell phone.

"I'm going to call her again." Julie announced as she picked up her phone and pressed the redial button. After quite a few rings the answering machine kicked in.

"_Hi, you've reached Coop's pho-" Seth started only to be cut off by Summer._

"_Cohen, don't say Coop, it's weird when you say it" Summer said, you can faintly hear a punch._

"_Why don't you guys let Marissa do it?" Ryan suggested in the back round._

"_What are you doing? Gosh, Cohen you ass" Summer said._

"_I am not an ass, where is Marissa anyway?" Seth retorted._

"_Your so useless" Summer complained. "You've reached Coop's phone and she isn't picking up, so that could either mean she is annoyed at you or-" Summer started._

"_Summer?! What are you doing give me my phone" Marissa cut in._

"_I leave you and Seth alone for five minutes and this is what you do" Marissa said._

"_The recording time has almost finished" Seth pointed out._

"_Ugh, wonder why?" Summer said._

"Please leave a message after the beep" An automated voice announced.

"Beep"

"Marissa please pick up. I am really worried about you, phone me back when you get this" Julie said to the other line.

**Marissa's Point Of View – Meanwhile…**

Vomit hurls up my throat and bits sputter out my semi-closed mouth, the rest goes back down and…oh my god I can't breathe, what the hell? I'm choking! I can't believe it, I've read about this happening and been told about it in health class but I never took it seriously. I can't breathe, someone help me. Please. No help thinking it you dumb ass, but I can't speak. No one is around and I can't move. More vomit is rising and I can tell it's getting stuck as well. Okay now it's no doubt about it serious. Fuck. Oh my god. I can't breathe. My phone is ringing but I can't answer it.

Tears are rolling down my cheek even though I'm not crying. What is happening to me?

**TBC**

**Now I know many of you are going to be like "OMFG IS SHE DEAD?" or something along those lines but never fear Ryan is near! IDEAS are MORE than WELCOME, so do add them in your REVIEW, which you will be doing in the matter of seconds. Okay now. Go and REVIEW! Stop reading this and click on that little button. God about time…took you a while! LOL. Thanks for reading.**


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